Are High School Reunions Still Necessary?
June 2024 marks twenty years since I graduated from high school. A classmate recently reached out about a reunion, and the idea isn't very popular.
Congratulations to the class of 2004!
Two weeks ago, I received an invitation via Facebook to my twenty-year high school reunion. Twenty years! When I was young, I assumed such a milestone would feel more…milestoney? But it doesn’t. It’s not that I don’t feel the passage of time. I absolutely do feel like it’s been twenty years since high school. I just thought that it would be a bigger deal to me than it is.
The reunion invitation was sent by the same person who planned our ten-year reunion, which I also did not attend. I briefly considered going back in 2014 and discussed it with a few close friends, but none of them seemed inclined to go, either. I remember thinking about my parents attending their milestone reunions and being really excited (classes of 1974 and 1978), so why wasn’t I?
The easy answer is social media, right? I’m connected with dozens of my former classmates online via Facebook and Instagram, and I never stopped knowing what they were up to. In school, we communicated via AOL Instant Messenger outside of school and throughout summer breaks; we never really separated.
I still regularly talk with quite a few of my former classmates, and I occasionally hear about most of the rest, anyway. We never really lost touch with our former classmates like previous generations, even though millennials are far more likely to have moved away from their hometowns than their parents’ and grandparents’ generations.
We know who has children. We saw the wedding photos of the person with a locker three down from ours but haven’t seen or spoken to them since graduation. We saw the obituaries of those who died. We know which of us have moved across the country and which of us never left the neighborhoods we were born into.
The invitation to my twenty-year reunion went out two weeks ago. I am one of six declines. Five people are marked as Going…and 110 haven’t responded (one of the people invited on Facebook actually died over ten years ago, which is a whole other issue about digital death that I don’t have the bandwidth to tackle right now).
It’s not just me. There is a general lack of interest. The ten-year reunion also had a low turnout.
I know that social media plays a part, but I don’t think it is solely responsible for the decline in interest. The invitations are on social media, after all, and that’s the tool that keeps everyone connected, albeit loosely. I remember my mother organizing a major reunion with her childhood best friend in the 1990s; she spent a lot of time tracking down physical mailing addresses so everyone could receive an invitation. My classmates didn’t go through as much effort, but I also don’t think they should have.
Does anyone care about a reunion? Honestly, I don’t. It’s not that I don’t care about the people I grew up with! I do…to a certain extent. I hold no grudges, and I genuinely wish them all well. just don’t need to be in the same room as them to celebrate twenty years since graduating together.
Perhaps this seems a bit callous? I think I would respond differently if I received a physical invitation, or a phone call, or a direct message over a mass invite sent one month before the gathering. It feels a little impersonal, but it begs the question: If I received a paper invitation, would I go?
Honestly, probably not. Aside from the very real logical issue of living 2500 miles away, I would rather spend time with a select few than play catch-up with many. I think this is a common sentiment for many people, especially after the COVID-19 pandemic. We want personal interaction and we want it in small doses. I also think that there is a stark difference between celebrating twenty years of friendship versus twenty years of knowing people. Modern friendships require a bit more than simply knowing.
I want to stay connected to my past. I think it’s important to remember the people and lessons learned from one’s formative years. I just don’t believe high school reunions have a place anymore.
What Excites Me
Fully recovering from a long, sickly week. Tabatha and I have both been ill, sharing a nasty cold that we likely picked up from the Bug Fair at the Natural History Museum, and I have been resting a lot.
Unsolicited Recommendations
Great Articles I Read This Week
What I’m Listening To Right Now
The Omnific is one of those rare bands that appears on a Spotify “Made For You” playlist and then immediately enters your regular rotation. They’re an Australian instrumental band comprised of two bassists and a drummer. All are masterful musicians, and they are incredibly fun to listen to.
I love when musicians try something new, or at least uncommon, and produce a unique sound. The Omnific produces such cool sounds from the dueling bass guitars! Though not on this particular record, the first song I heard from them is “Phat Mackerel” from their recent EP Will-O’-The-Wisp.
It’s a great song and a good EP. I just really prefer Kismet.
Listen here:
Resource of the Week
Here are a few organizations that can always use donations:
Anyway, I’m still recovering from illness, and my brain is fried. Three days ago, I blew my nose after waking up in the morning, and my ear popped. It is still popped. It’s very annoying.